Friday, September 11, 2015

Rob "the metal guy" Rants About Metal #17

    Are you ready to rumble?!!! In one corner we have the washed up singer from everyone’s favorite eighties tranny looking hard rock band, Dee Snider. In the other corner we have the make-up wearing star child from Kiss who loves to shout, People, on a constant basis throughout a show, Mr. Paul Stanley. These two have been exchanging verbal blows at each other lately, so I thought I would weigh in on the brawl.

    From what I have been able gather, it all started with Dee expressing his opinion on Kiss continuing without the original members. Then Paul Stanley decided to call Twister Sister, “a bunch of buffoons.” This prompted Dee to come back at him and challenge Paul to a sing off to see who is less of a washed up rock and roll hack. Seriously, these dudes need to take a time out and be ashamed of how childish they are acting. Also, I find Paul Stanley to be more arrogant than Gene Simmons sometimes, which is really scary to think because Gene is usually the major ego in Kiss. Overall, both singers are past their prime musically and going to see either of their bands would be a waste of money. I do think the WWE should book this match for Night of Champions, because watching these two old men fight would be extremely entertaining.

    Next topic is highly flammable, so get ready. The limousine carrying Jake E. Lee and his other bandmates from Red Drago Cartel happened to go up in flames while taking the band to the Rock Bar Theater in San Jose, CA. I actually saw this on my local news station as a top story and could not believe Jake E. Lee was being mentioned on my local news. Secondly, I could not believe his band was riding in a limo to the venue! Yes, forget the fire, why the hell is a medium sized rock band containing a former Ozzy guitarist riding in a limo? Couldn't they take a taxi or rent a small van?

    Well, I guess the limo belonged to the Rock Bar Theater, so I will not be as hard on Jake E. Lee and his band. However, I am now left asking why the Rock Bar Theater is picking up musicians in a limo. I respect Jake E. Lee as a guitar player, but using a limo to pick him up is a bit over the top in my opinion. Maybe the fire was caused by some spiritual rock and roll force saying, “Hey, this is hard rock music people, not freaking Madonna!”

    Oh yeah, new Slayer album is out. Came out on 9/11. How appropriate...Slayer are still trying to be the kings of controversy and the new video for the title track, “Repentless,” is definitely making the case. I would describe the video as an rated-R version of Metallica’s, “St. Anger.” Just like Metallica, Slayer decided to use a prison for the video’s setting, however, presented a more brutal and graphic version of the prison population. The guy from Machete was in  the video killing people left and right, so Slayer must think they are on the level to make Robert Rodriguez type videos now since they have more money than they could have ever imagined when first starting out. I might get the new album, but when I get my paycheck next week...I am buying the new Nile album before I buy the new Slayer album...Hey, the Nile singles were better in my opinion.

    Okay, all the Slayer fans come at me with your insulting comments because I am not blindly going to throw my money at the band. Let me know if you have a opinion about any of these topics by leaving a comment below. Later metal maniacs! \m/

1 comment:

  1. Even the writers of Spinal Tap couldn't come up with this stuff.

    Thank you aging rock stars for giving Robby plenty to rant about. Always enjoy reading it.