Saturday, May 16, 2015

Rob "the metal guy" Rants About Metal #1

Yeah, the title should give you an idea about what this article is all about. Me ranting about the current topics going on in the world of hard rock and heavy metal. Okay, shall we begin?
    First off, Metallica needs to just hang up their act and go to the senior citizens home for old musicians who annoy the crap out of me. Recently Lars made a statement during an interview with ALT 98.7 KYSR at Rock In Rio USA, for fans to not hold their breath or skip going to the bathroom if they are waiting for the new Metallica album. Though, he says it will be coming out eventually. Eventually means when he needs to buy his new super model wife another Ferrari. Also, Kirk Hammett losing his phone that supposedly contains all his riff ideas is probably the most pathetic thing I have heard a rock star do since Ozzy couldn’t make a cup of noodles without almost burning down his house. Really Kirk? You can’t remember your own riffs, or you can’t upload them to your computer for backup? James Hetfield must be going crazy right now. No wonder his hair is turning completely white. In the end why wait for the new Metallica album when we have so many albums to look forward to from bands who don’t lose their phones and who don’t have drummers with inflated egos.
    Alright, moving from Metallica onto Megadeth. At least Megadeth can consistently put out new releases compared to Metallica. However, the last Megadeth album was a disappointment in my opinion should have not been called “Super Collider,” but “Super Musical Constipation.” Now, I don’t know how this new album is going to turn out, but I am not really expecting “Peace Sells” number two. With Chris Adler on drums and Kiko Loureiro on guitar, this new Megadeth album will be interesting to say the least. There were talks of Dave bringing back the “Rust in Peace” line-up, but I think Marty and Nick didn’t want to deal with the headache that is called Mustaine. I believe Dave Mustaine should also check himself into that senior citizens home for old musicians who annoy the crap out of me.
    Last topic for all you crazy headbangers and internet metal trolls...Helloween has a new album out in June! All you Power Metal haters can go screw yourselves because I am excited! I really enjoyed their last album, “Straight Out of Hell.” They are a band that knows how to maintain a solid sound while also going back to their old school speed/power metal roots. The first single “Battle’s Won,” was okay and seemed like a b-side from “Straight Out of Hell. Though the second single, “Lost in America,” really got my attention with its catchy lead riffs and high powered vocals. Helloween “My God-Give Right,” drops in June so mark your calendars!
    That is it for this rant. By the next rant there won’t be a new Metallica album and I would not be surprised if Dave Mustaine does something squirrelly and needs to find more replacement members.
-Rob “the metal guy” Stevens

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